The E-Z Ritual
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Are you tired of all the thinking and planning that goes into creating a great ritual? You’re in luck! Here, we hand you a ritual on a (cheap, paper) plate. All you need are some dice.

First, roll the dice to find the response everyone will use for the ritual.
  1. So mote it be
  2. This is the way
  3. How nice for you
  4. YOLO
  5. Bless your heart
  6. Whatever

Ritual:

High priestess casts the circle.

All partipicants: response

HP: “We invoke the spirit of  ______[roll the dice]_____”

  1. That pagan book I hate that my ex left behind
  2. My neighbor’s cat
  3. This coffee pot
  4. I-40
  5. My favorite underwear
  6. Dust bunnies

All: response

Place  _________[roll the dice]_______ on the altar.

  1. My neighbor’s cat
  2. Socks
  3. Grogu (baby Yoda)
  4. A Patti Smith album
  5. A bowl of Cocoa-Puffs
  6. Garden gnomes

HP: “Join us as we work our magic to ________[roll the dice]________”

  1. Ease on down the road
  2. Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
  3. Move to New Zealand
  4. Just do it and be legends
  5. Compose the most amazing polkas ever known
  6. Unravel the dystopian nightmare of late-stage capitalism

All: response

All participants dance _______[roll the dice]_________

  1. In a T-Rex costume
  2. Very seriously
  3. Like no one is watching
  4. With an ambiguous stranger
  5. Like Uma Thurman
  6. In our own minds

All: thank the participants, earthly and otherwise. Return cat if necessary. Open the circle.